The Sibling Discussion

About two years ago while I was dropping Kicky to the barnehage ('bar-na-ha-gay': kindergarten in norsk, you might as well have a crash course in Norwegian while you're reading this blog); so during one drop off, the kid asks me, 'Mama is there a baby in your tummy?' Don't blame her really, I actually look more pregnant now than when I was actually pregnant. No wonder people are offering me seats on the bus and are giving me that sympathetic look. Oh well, if they are so kind, I just oblige.
I had to tell her that I was just plump (that might be understating it, but it's impolite to say 'fat') and that though I had a big tummy there was no baby in it. She seemed to accept that, even though she seemed a little suspicious.
Ever since I randomly find myself in baby conversations with her.

One time she asked me how were babies born. Now in Norway I think they just present the facts to the kids; no mention of a big bird dropping you off in a soft blanket which is, magically, appropriately coloured and definitely none of the angel stuff, which I made up by the way. So I told her that an angel put her in my tummy and that's how she was born. Of course the actual foretelling was much more magical; I know that for a fact because from time to time I find myself narrating this story at bedtime and also reminded of the original text by an eager kid who remembers the first telling verbatim.

Once she heard the story of her birth, she wanted to know if the same would happen if she were to have a baby sister or brother. I told her that a baby growing in my tummy was one way of getting a sibling, but another way was also to bring home a baby who didn't have a mama or dada. Of course the efficiency of the angel could be questioned here but we didnt get into that. And then she asked, 'So can we buy a baby' The question was loaded with hope. Err, yes it could practically be a financial transaction but I was not going to bother her with those details. I had to twist the facts a bit and repeat the inefficient angel bit. Again in a loud voice, 'So are we going to BUY a baby?' Luckily we were at home and trusted that our doubled glazed windows worked also as partial soundproofers. I was not ready for child trafficking SWAT teams to raid my apartment.

Next day when I picked her up from the barnehage, I met her best friend's mom, who softly asked me 'I heard something. Are you expecting another one?' Took me a split second to comprehend, because I had completely forgotten our 'buying a baby' conversation. The only way to explain this was to repeat the whole story again. Yes, it's a bit awkward and strange when a person you don't know very well is talking about angels and buying babies. Too much information. Actually, too much weird information.

A few months ago, Kicky told the husband, 'Dada, may be Mama will have a baby in the summer.
Dad: 'Why do you think so?'
Kicky: 'Dada (rolling her eyes, frustrated that she had to explain herself), I said "maybe" '
The operative word being 'maybe' but again very hopeful.

Some days, she looks at my tummy which has now grown even bigger, and asks me if I am sure there is no baby in there. Sometimes I look at the tummy and wonder if something is gestating in there and might just pop through. Have you watched this weird show called 'I didn't know I was Pregnant'? There was a girl who popped in her car, in the car...! it was gross. Actually, it's probably gross even in the hospital but you cannot see it. Thank god for sheets and screens.

I don't think I am off the hook with the sibling discussion yet. I have been told (by Kicky) that it's unfair that she is the only kid and that all other kids have baby brothers or sisters. Some days she looks so sad and wishful I really wish it was easy to just buy a baby.