Any Good News?

Now that I am married people have only one question for me, 'Any good news?'

My Grandma keeps asking my Mom that, fully aware that I am in London and without my husband. Does she not trust me at all or does she think all births are courtesy Lord God from above via a miracle.

And canoodling over the phone has got no one pregnant yet. (What?! Come on, we're all adults here.)

A neighbour who I don't talk to much and who I happened to see at Froth on Top in Mangalore went out of his way just to ask me this question.
He: "Hey, any good news?"
Me: "Like what from the Bible?" (that was a bad joke I know, but what do you expect)
He: "Hey come on ya, you know what I mean."
Me: "Just because I am married..."
He: "Err.. no I thought..."
Me: "Well, I am just getting fat, I am not pregnant."
There I said it and he disappeared. Probably the first time a girl has ever told him that.

And it works the other way round too. If I say, "I have some good news to tell you", the chorus response is "Are you preganant?"
I agree motherhood is a charm and yes, in some ways it is a miracle, something so big coming out of something so small.

But when did blood and screaming and pain that wants to make you kill yourself ever become good news.

Of course, then there are some who ask you the question knowing it's not good news at all. "I went through hell so when is your turn?" That's "Any good news?" with an unheard snicker and evil laugh in the background.

There are also some 'nice people', who don't know how to mind their own business and want some good news or the other all the time. "Any good news? She's going to turn thirty next year, isn't she? Is something wrong with her?" All said in one breath.

So, the 'Good News' will come in it's own good time, maybe the stork will deliver it. Till then, I am going to watch those beers that are giving me that pregnant glow and growing tummy.