The Long and Short of Surprises

Well, if celebrities can update their blogs regularly in between their concerts, filming, travelling and philanthropic activities then I guess it shouldn't be too much for me to just get off my lazy ass and write.

My excuse for not writing often: Time, inspiration
The actual reason for not writing often: Sheer laziness (if it comes in that pattern, Sheer!)

So to record events chronologically this is what happened in the past few weeks that I have not been writing.

Leaving London:
My manager comes over to me on one bright, rare sunny day and tells me that I can leave earlier than scheduled because they had found a replacement who was willing to get here asap. So, I could leave on the 4th of July (Independence Day! Come on, with all the alien fighting and innumerable American movies oozing patriotism you're not thinking Aug 15th, it's always 4th of July)

So ecstatic as I was, the week preceding my departure I decided to finally do things I was holding myself back to in the past months. I drank everyday, Strongbow, Magners, Guinness, Kronenberg and Ouzo ( I had just a sip of it and wanted to wash my mouth with soap). I indulged in food that tickled my tastebuds and only added another layer of fat around my already not-so-flat tummy (thought I'd go on a detox diet when I get back to India). I shopped, something I don't actually like doing, but I think when I see the word 'SALE' some chemical in my brain triggers and my feet automatically move in the direction of that word.

On the 3rd of July, (1 day to go - I love it when they do that in movies, it appears on the screen in a very electronic font, and you're hoping the moron hero does something quick before the world blows up into a huge ball of fire), I was out to do some last minute shopping, basically take advantage of the 32kg limit that BA gives.

Also, I had not told anyone except my brother-in-law and sis that I would be in India earlier than scheduled. I wanted to surprise my husband (probably would've scared or shocked him).

Anyway, while shopping I didn't bother about my phone which was tucked somewhere in my handbag. When I actually bothered checking it, I had loads of missed calls and a voicemail from my manager which was a very strange message, something to the effect of me doing something important for my team. Well, I am no American hero and definitely no, err, who would be equivalent of a supergirl who saved the world, Bionic Woman? err, Lara Croft?

Anyway, when I did call him back I got his voicemail as well so I left him a message. I was not sure what to make of his message since it was so vague. I was out with my friend and I was looking forward to this gorgeous meal of Pakistani food and a great last night in London. Well, I did have a great evening and by the time I got back home it was really late. Checked my phone and there was another voice message, 'Call me at ANY time', also a note from my room-mate saying that two people from work were desperately trying to reach me. Heck, at 2 in the morning I was not going to call anybody. So I finished my packing (had done most of it the previous day) and tried to go to sleep, I was so excited to be leaving the next morning (effectively that morning).

I get another call in the morning, asking me not to leave. My ****ing flight is at 2, I have a ****ing cab at 10 and here at ****ing 8 o'clock I am asked not to leave. c, k, f, u have been replaced with the wonderful *, after my greatest fan and critique told me that those letters in a certain order are just in your face.

So, of course you should know the reason why I was being asked to stay. The guy who came to replace me apparently was caught sleeping, TWICE, at a client meeting. The client was not impressed with his behaviour and let's cut the poor chap some slack, with jet lag his clock must've been totally screwed. But the client would not stand to have him in the project any more and with another prissy little prick going on leave the next week I was asked to stay.

Needless to stay I was in the worst of moods that day, extremely snappish and foul mouthed, now that's not a pretty picture.

Surviving London:
Now that I had to stay I went on that detox diet anyway. I had to flush my system of all the unholy indulgences (food only) of the past week.
So ask me how long will I be here and I'll answer 'Indefinitely', like Julia in Notting Hill (oh yes, I watch romantic movies too)

In all the excitement to surprise my husband and family, I was the one who was ultimately given the shock.

- Kavisha Pinto